Happy Birthday, blacknectar!

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Food / Fuel
bday

bdayHappy birthday, blacknectar! I’m two days late, but I had to show this blog some birthday love. I always have ideas and projects in my head about politics and people and history and art, but I hadn’t seriously considered writing a blog until last year. I’d say, I have all of these thoughts on books I’ve read, performances I’ve seen, projects I’ve made, and personal experiences–why don’t I create an outlet to express them? I was apprehensive about writing a blog because of the exposure. I didn’t want me or my personal views or my personal thoughts out there. What if somebody saw it? What if somebody hated it (and me)? This blog has been an exercise in truth-telling and openness. It can be very difficult to explore pain and truth in public–it’s difficult to explore those things alone! So I appreciate this blog for helping me to unabashedly accept truth and revel in exposure. Everyday I try to become a little less afraid of myself, and I thank this blog for helping me to do that. This blog has also been a self-healing project. Talking about food, body image, and eating problems has been very cathartic for me. It’s really hard to discuss bingeing and self-doubt. I remember writing my earliest posts and wanting to edit them after I put them up, but I didn’t let myself because I couldn’t expect readers to feel comfortable discussing their issues if I wasn’t forthcoming about mine. I always wanted to see a therapist, but besides one brief session in college, I never really explored the desire. With blacknectar, I feel as if I am healing myself. It is certainly a project, but one that I enjoy putting together. So happy birthday, blacknectar, and an earnest thank you for galvanizing my project-making, my self-healing, and my self-acceptance.

When is your blog’s birthday? What do you thank your blog for?

April is National Poetry Month.
Did you know?
Audre Lorde was State Poet of New York from 1991 to 1992.

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